It is very difficult to have someone that you care a great deal for die and not at some point find yourself looking skyward. Eventually we turn to the universe or to God for answers. Even those who are not religious find themselves searching for reasons for what often feels cruel or unfair. It’s not a secret to say that so much of life doesn’t add up. Injustice and unfairness are commonplace and suffering is witnessed in so many places. I suppose that the best we can do is acknowledge that so much is mysterious or beyond our comprehension. Unfortunately, that doesn’t help much if you’re searching for answers. Finding answers may be much less important than being able to ask the questions. If you are grieving you may need to ask why. Why him? Why her? Why us? Why me? You may find yourself filled with anger or despair or you might even find that you’re shaken to the core of your beliefs. Many people who hold religious conviction find that their faith is severely tested when a loved one dies. Some who are religious are able to hold their faith tightly and abandon themselves to accepting “the will of God.” Others become let down or betrayed, feeling that somehow God failed to notice them in their time of great need. If you have religious faith take your struggles to God. Any religious person knows that there is no hiding from God so why not acknowledge your confusion or hurt or sense of being forgotten and take it to God. This ability to be honest with your feelings will allow you to see God as listener and maybe in time as comforter too. When I was a boy and my parents took me to church, they insisted that I wear my Sunday clothes. One wouldn’t dare go to a holy place without your best clothes and I guess without your best face and attitude too. As I have gotten older I realize that it is in our honest, open relationship with God where we can truly find healing and help. If you’re angry, frustrated, let down or feeling lost and maybe that your faith is slipping, let God know. Any child more than a few years old knows that his or her cut elbow or knee can’t be made to go away by seeking help from a parent and yet the act of coming to the parent for help is very healing. Drawing close and asking for help and for the pain to go away provides a connection between the child’s need and the parents ability to understand and respond. It is in the reaching out, and the asking for help that closeness and caring really takes place. God is a great resource to you if you have faith. Reach out and bring your hurt, your fear, your anger and your questions. In drawing near to God you may find some relief. By expressing your feelings you will likely receive comfort for being open, honest and vulnerable. Not all questions have answers but all questions need to be encouraged and explored. It is in the expression of honest emotion where we find help. God won’t mind your openness and you may have found a helpful way to expose your needs and express your hurt.