I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU

Everything changes with attitude and desire. Everything can be altered going forward as easily as stepping away from a screen or painting the walls a new colour. If we did not buy games that show person against person, or attend films that are full of hatred and violence there would be a shift and those things would find a much less significant spot in the world. If we...
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GARBAGE

Last week I received a delivery of a small number of books from the United Sates. When the order has a value of more than $20.00 there are fees to be paid. I was called from the desk downstairs in the building where I live and I went to pay the man who delivers our mail. I took the small box upstairs, took out the books, folded the box and put it down the recycling garbage ch...
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NO VOICE TO BE HEARD

For you Richard.. I sat with Richard a few days ago. His young son had died very recently. He was beside himself, consumed with hurt, really having little idea what to do or how to respond to his pain. “I hurt more today than I did yesterday. It’s not getting better and there is so little help.”  “People know my story, they know that Alan just died and yet they either say t...
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GRIEF WORK

Grief hurts a lot. It hurts beyond words to have someone that you love die and it hurts a great deal to have something taken from you that you counted on, needed or were attached to. Any major life loss is very painful. We use the term "grief work" when describing what you have to do when you are trying to deal with a death or any important loss in life. We speak of...
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ALONE IS A SCARY PLACE TO BE

I read this week that violence, angry, mean and horrible is on the rise. I read that there isn’t much hope for us as a culture or a society. I read that hope for something better has all but disappeared and that there really isn’t much reason to bother at all. I read that we are pretty much doomed to follow horrible examples and that our ability as a group, a society ...
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NOW WHAT?

Grief is a part of our fabric. We all understand loss and yet generally we aren’t very good at dealing with all that loss brings with it. Grief comes from many places. We understand that death brings grief but few of us give life’s other losses the time of day. It doesn’t matter whether you feel sad and lost from the death of a loved one or the death of a family pet. It doesn’t...
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GRIEF EXPOSED

Sometimes writing and reality have little in common I have recently experienced loss. My mother died a few weeks ago and that has caused me to reflect, recall my father’s death three years ago, search and remember. In addition to thinking of my family, my upbringing and my history, I have felt a great sense of misery over another reality that causes me to feel loss and grief....
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NEVER THE SAME

There is no way that you can experience what it means to have someone that you love die and not be scarred forever. This doesn’t mean that with a great deal of hard work you won’t again feel able to face tomorrow and what life brings with it, but things will never be the same. Until you have been touched by the agony that the death of a very close loved one offers, it is diffic...
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GET IN THE MUD WITH ME

When you hurt, what you need most of all is real understanding and care. You don’t want to hear empty words or probably any words at all. You don’t want to be offered meaningless clichés. You don’t want an escape or entertainment. Really what someone who is hurting may need more than anything else is to be cared for at a genuine level. It doesn’t matter if the pain...
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GOD

It is very difficult to have someone that you care a great deal for die and not at some point find yourself looking skyward. Eventually we turn to the universe or to God for answers. Even those who are not religious find themselves searching for reasons for what often feels cruel or unfair. It’s not a secret to say that so much of life doesn’t add up. Injustice and unfairness a...
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