GOD

It is very difficult to have someone that you care a great deal for die and not at some point find yourself looking skyward. Eventually we turn to the universe or to God for answers. Even those who are not religious find themselves searching for reasons for what often feels cruel or unfair. It’s not a secret to say that so much of life doesn’t add up. Injustice and unfairness a...
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BEWARE

There are many things to be careful of and watchful for when you are grieving the loss of someone that you cared for and depended on. You may notice that almost everyone has an opinion about your situation or has a solution for your discomfort. Sometimes when we are hurting and vulnerable it’s very easy to be susceptible to the advice that comes our way from pretty much anyone ...
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CHILDREN AND DEATH

I am often asked how to help children manage the reality of death. Many are greatly concerned when it comes to introducing their children to death and grief. I do not have much experience helping children deal with their grief but I have been asked this enough that I have a point of view for you to consider. Having someone that you are connected to die is a very difficult time ...
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WHEN “ME TOO” MEANS SOMETHING

When you ‘re in a mess, hurting or lost, it can be very difficult to hear what others are saying. Words run together or simply sound like noise. If someone you are very close to dies, whether it’s anticipated or sudden, the shock can be and often is so severe that almost everything seems garbled and mixed up. The unreal nature of the event can be so difficult to take in that yo...
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CAN’T TAKE IT IN

Each week I take a look at some facets and complications of grief. Each week I try to pass on some things that I have learned or seen over the years. Even though the situations and reactions are different, the bottom line is usually very similar. I hope that in reading what I write those grieving might find some permission to feel as they do and they might know that they are...
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FOREVER

There aren’t many things that are permanent or forever. Concepts like forever or infinity are things that we can speak of but really as limited creatures these notions are things we don’t fully understand. Death falls into the forever category and that’s one of the reasons why coping with the loss of someone that you care about is very difficult. When my father died three years...
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YESTERDAY

My mother died this week. She was elderly and ill for the last little while and yet still I am trying to figure it out and sort through my emotions. I have watched my mother’s health deteriorate significantly these last three months and I have been busy with her affairs for at least a month now, but still there is a sense of the unreal here. I find myself acting somewhat ...
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PAINFUL REMINDERS

There are so many events that will cause you to flinch and hurt when you’re grieving the absence of someone you love. Whether we know it or not, the calendar and the seasons are things that we tend to pay a great deal of attention to. While everyone else seems to be living life pain free, you may be struck with an acute sense of loneliness, abandon or an inner despair that can ...
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FEAR

At the beginning of I Can’t Stop Crying, I chose a quote from C.S. Lewis that says so much but that seldom gets attention. After the death of his wife he wrote, “ I am not afraid, but no one told me it would feel so much like fear”. When life brings you face to face with grief, there are a number of feelings that you will have to try to cope with. Of them, fear, is amo...
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TOO BUSY

My mother is very ill. I have watched her become weaker and slower these last few weeks but I did not appreciate until a few days ago just how sick she is. She has twice struggled with breast cancer and it’s consequences over the years but now she has disease spread to many new places. I am the one closest geographically to my mother and so many of the things that “have to be d...
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